And We're Off (Of Our Game)

Yesterday at long last we opened in Nagoya. It took very little time for the Nagoya crowd to outperform the Kyoto crowds in quality of response. It's nice to be performing for crowds that give you a feeling that they will react when something clicks. That dynamic is a boon and it helps a lot when trying to get a sense of what's working and what's working better.

However, it was not without its hitches and I would say that it is the worst opening day I've ever had in my years of performing. That said, I am very unforgiving toward myself when I make mistakes and it makes it even worse when it involves dropping during a juggling routine. Then I beat myself up and feel like a complete failure because I made a mistake and then couldn't bounce back from it. And then I feel awful for feeling that way and for not being more patient with myself and just shrugging it all off. I do not have a very positive view of mistakes or failure, and I feel that any/every flaw detracts from the quality of person I am.

Well, I dropped in the first show. The second show was an even worse travesty, courtesy of me. The third show went smoothly and then I made a stupid brain-fart mistake during a gag in the third show. So as far as I was concerned, I ruined the show, perhaps the entire day. The performers were at each others' throats because the show was so bad! The elephants were eating the ponies! The zebras had the giraffe pinned down and were giving him hertz donuts! The audience fled the tent, intent on razing the city. Mr. Kinoshita actually, physically exploded on site! It was a travesty! All because I dropped during juggling!

As my friend Matt was fond of saying: "Did the show explode? Then it wasn't that bad."

So yeah, in the grand scheme of things it all wasn't that awful. It was only three gags out of how many I've done so far in my life and those that I yet will perform (hopefully)? The audience still liked me/us and still responded very positively, so at least they were forgiving. And if an audience is still with you through all of that, you must be doing something right, right?

On interpersonal fronts, I believe I'm starting to realize a couple of things and will continue to keep my eyes up, my back straight, and ears open. It's nice when patience actually pays off, especially in insight.