Departing Thoughts

I have one week left here in Japan, one week left on my contract. With another change in life pending, I am of course pensive and a bit down. Life not generally being lack and white, I'm also happy to be leaving.

Kinoshita Circus is a good place. I like the company, I like the people, I like being in Japan. I have learned quite a bit here and I have grown in mind and body. One of the most important things I learned was about observation. Only through living each day in a state of actively noticing things was I able to actually experience the advantages of letting observation be a teacher, where before I knew it cognitively and and had forgotten the previous instances of putting it in action.

The most important things I've learned here the last eleven months have been through observation. The majority were in regard to performing and some were about conduct as a person. I will not express some of those things here, but I am leaving with a renewed interest in ongoing evolution. With stagnation, there is death whether it be figurative or otherwise. Because of coming here and being open, I now believe I ave come closer to becoming the person I wish to be.

This departure is a very good thing for me. I will be closer to my family and be able to respond more immediately to any need for help. My parents are getting older and my mom's health is steadily deteriorating. My younger sister has her own family and problems she's sorting out. Living in the Twin Cities again will make me the closest responder with the least amount of daily life business that will stand in the way of family need.

Joining that is the fact that I will be in a place extremely conducive to the nurturing of my evolution as a performer. I left the Winnie The Pooh show two and a half years ago because nothing was going to change for me significantly enough. I began feeling like I was in a space that had grown too small. I had ideas brewing in my head that I couldn't execute or develop there. That feeling of being in a chrysalis has not changed since then. Lest I would have become stagnant and blinded by the great paycheck, solid gig, and awesomeness of living in Japan, the trials of this past spring helped me remain focused on the things that count. I never planned to spend the rest of my life here and if I can't get done here what I would like to get done, there's always some place else.

Somewhere down the road there is always another gig. There is always some place else to go. Life moves forward and I hope that I will never be too afraid to move with it and surf its waves.