Friday, February 26, 2010

Camera Doesn't Lie

Dennis has left. It was earlier than planned because unfortunately, there was some family business that came up and he had to go. Fortunately, we were able to do some videotaping and watching.

I have not exactly had the best personal history with videotaping. Like some people, I didn't like watching myself on videotape. I didn't like the way my body looked and I was always disturbed that how I felt like I looked and like I was moving was nothing like what I saw on the screen. I felt controlled, precise, and graceful; I looked uncoordinated, gangly, and unrefined. That was always my opinion, anyway.

I know videotaping is a valuable tool and although I'm for it, I was dreading it to some degree. I didn't feel like making the emotional effort against the usual cascade of lowered self esteem.

It didn't happen, though. I was able to focus on the thing that mattered about what I was seeing instead of thinking of how unattractive my bowlegs are or how my posture looked uncharacteristically poor.

Lord, it felt good to not have the normal b.s. reaction. Because of that, I was able to note the things that needed a tweak.

Now for working on the rest of the elements of confidence!

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